Editors Panel feat Me.

I really should blog about this AFTER the actual event. No doubt, i'll do that as well but i just kind of want to write in here about the pre-panel feelings that i have. The thing that amazes me about this entire ordeal is that it all came about from something as simple as me ASKING one of my favorite writers to write for my publication ( which never got a proper spine ). I feel sad that Criterion has stopped ( but i also have these inklings inside me that i want to start it again when things are a bit less hectic money wise ). It was one of the best initiatives that i've ever done and you'd never think that something as makeshift and home made as Criterion would take me to a panel talk. My position there is obvious, to give the low down on what it takes to do a small press publication like mine. Since i've stopped doing it, i've got a pretty good vantage point on what to do and what NOT to do. I feel like the other editors that i'll be on the panel with are all well... proper editors of proper publications. They'll give their own take on things of course. I am excited to hear them give the low down about their publications especially since two of them are really good and i really would love to be published in them one day.

It's so dumb, i haven't even written out what i'm gonna write ( although it shouldn't be hard ) all i've been thinking about is what i want to wear. I know, how shallow but it's all that's in my mind at the moment. I think i'll just do super simple and wear a white shirt and jeans. I'm really looking forward to this panel talk. I know it's so lame but i just really want to talk about this journey that i've been on with the publication and all the dreams that i used to have for it. I also want to talk about commercialism and the business side of things and how in order to launch a product, any product you've got to have backers. Even if it's just one. It's annoying because in Criterion's growth we were JUST coming to that point where i was working on the backers stage but then the money ran out. There'll be heaps to say and i can't wait to hear what the other editors are going to say about their publications too. It's also funny that till this day, i use the collective term " we " when i talk about Criterion. It's always just been me and only me. I was also in the process of delegating new people to be part of the team but then, things just didn't run in favor for me.

It really was a project that was still in fruition. It was just beginning and there was a part of me that knew if i stuck it out long enough, it'd eventually go somewhere. I was 100% determined and ready to do it for my whole life. But things just didn't go the right way. For one, how was i only to continue funding for it? Two, i live alone so this just adds to the funding issue. Three, i needed more people and i just didn't know anyone who would do it or be a part of the team ( even though i'd be the best boss, really! ). Anyway, i'll talk about all of this tomorrow. Should be a good morning.