Instant Gratification

I have a tic in life where i get super impatient. It's one of the cons in my personality. When i want things, i never really want to wait for them. Sometimes i'm ok with it, but a lot of the time, definitely not.

The thing about instant gratification with me, is that i get really hooked onto the 'rush' you get from finally attaining what you want. It's the most exhilarating and fulfilling feeling to finally get what you've been wanting. In my life, i've attained lots that i've wanted but i've also not gotten a lot of things as well. And i swear to god, what you don't have always ends up totally consuming you and you don't even care about what you do have. I don't know how to 'appreciate' what I do have sometimes because the value of it just doesn't appear to me unless it's taken away. That quote " You only know what you have until it's gone " is SO true to me. But as a society though, we get criticized if we seem over-appreciative of our lives. People think that we're being full of ourselves if we talk about how much we love, enjoy or are happy with what we do have. It's ridiculous how much we can't win in life sometimes.

There's so much value in being able to be patient and to work hard and to persist in life to get what you want or to get over things or basically just to do anything. I guess it depends on what we're talking about and what we want now. I know for a fact that with time, you pretty much get over everything and what you don't have and what you won't get, probably won't be much of a problem later on in life. But deep inside, i believe we'll always sort of have that questioning that goes on. Why Not? Why the hell not? That's what we ask silently. I envy people who don't really want things. I feel like over the years, my desires have dulled down a lot but there are still things that i want for my life. The funny thing is, that i never get what i want until i don't want them. I know that's a saying but it's eerie how often this happens in my life. I kind of wait around for it to happen now.