A couple of days ago, i got an anonymous ask in my inbox on Tumblr. This girl wanted me to answer her questions about a particular situation she was in. It was one of those questions that needed space and had to be answered thoroughly. So anon, here it is.
To : Anon
First of all, i'm very sorry to hear about the situation that you are in. No doubt you're confused, irritated and probably very much in need of answers. That's how all girls ( and guys ) are like when the one that they show feelings for, show 'hints' of potential feelings back. When they show these feelings, we latch onto them and if testifying in a court, we'd probably scream and pound our fists in rage to that evidence. Those glances, those stares, those slight gestures. They are addicting and alluring. They're almost like drugs because they feel so good to see and to feel but they are bad for our minds because we often believe what we want to believe.
I don't know who this guy you're talking about is. I don't know what his personality is like either. But from what you're telling me, it's mixed emotions from him and i'm telling you girl, this is no time to be jeopardizing your heart to something that has no guarantees of a safe place for you. I've liked few guys in the past and i've been in the same situation where i thought myself into things because i saw ' signs ' from them. But at the end of the day, what did they do? Nothing. So it amounted to nothing. No guy is worth your time if he isn't going to look you square in the eye and say " I'm into you goddamit and it's you who i want to be with". And this guy isn't. He's giving you these luke-warm offerings and you are not to be blamed for fanning these embers into flames.
These little gestures could mean there is something deeper. But until he says it himself, i repeat HE SAYS IT HIMSELF, you are not to put your emotions on gamble mode. Don't take a gamble on any man unless you're willing to pay the price for rejection. Rejection hurts, but it's an answer and answers are invaluable.
Emotions always triumph over logic. So don't feel like a ' stupid girl ' for giving into all of these offerings from this guy. Of course you're going to want to. It FEELS good. But in reality, where is all of this leading to? This guy sounds young. He sounds wayward. He sounds like he's gonna go where ever he wants to go, whenever he wants to go. And i'm SO sorry to say this to you, but unless he shows some signs of commitment towards you, he's not going to take you with him. Whoever you are anon, i know things will peice together for you eventually. Don't get your hopes up. In fact, i find in times like these, it's best to do something very dramatic. That's what i always do. Delete his number, ignore his calls. See how far he'll go for you.
In the mean time, cry and feel shit about it. Welcome to the real world.
Yalei
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Thanks so much for reading!