New York is the Queen bee and I'm her lapdog

Me doing a face peel in my hotel

I kind of knew deep in my heart that no matter how much i prepared to come home, it would still be a struggle to. I'm a fucking escapist, it's always been a part of me. Being far away and having endless amounts of funds to do whatever the fuck i want. Drinking in bars, shopping at Saks, taking the subway and getting lost but being OK with that, walking around Manhattan pretending to be a local. Being home isn't that bad. I have to admit that it's actually kind of good to be home. There are things about Melbourne that cannot be found anywhere else and plus, my friends are here and i love being with them. But there is so much of the world to see. I know that sounds cheesey but it's so true. I'm so eager to start another trip and it's gonna be Japan. I'm going next year. I think i've been bitten by the travel bug. 

A long time ago, i criticized people who traveled as a means of escaping from their problems. I said that if you could make 'real' life good then you'd never want to run away from it. I still stick by this tenet but i've got something new to add. If you can run away, if you've got the means to do it, if you know what you are really doing ( which is running away from your problems ) and are prepared for the consequences, then go for it. My own words taste bitter. I'm doing the exact thing which i criticized the entire world for. I am running away from my problems and the places which i run to will always be a million times more wonderful, dreamy and fun to be in than dreary old home.

Home is familiarity, which is nice. It's also friends and family. It's my own bed and it's where people have known me since the beginning. But in New York, Paris or Japan i am a stranger. I could be someone as fanciful and ridiculous as i please. Overseas is where i can invent new personas for everyday, be off with the fairies and delay reality. Reality isn't always a slap in the face. But mine has been. You work hard and get nowhere, people talk shit all the time, friendships fizzle into nothing. No wonder we all end up running away some how. No wonder our elbows are perpetually bent at the bar next to a solid, gin martini.

 I loved Manhattan for its ambition. Walking down Madison and Lexington i would pass businessmen speaking into their phones discussing deals, mergers, swearing under their breath for losing money. I had never seen so many limousines in my life and this was all normal everyday stuff there. At the beginning, i hated New york. I found it to be rude and off putting. The people were sad looking and depressed. No one had a positive vibe to put out at all and it got on my nerves. I thought back to Australia and how good natured everybody was. I missed it a little. Three days passed and New York made me tough. I began to realise that the more ' myself ' i was there, the better people would respond to me. I think New York is a city with attitude and if you can't take it or show it, you'll be crushed and eaten alive. In retrospect, I'm thankful that New York was tough because i love a city with attitude. It shows that they are emotionally involved and emotionally experienced.

Women are so different in Manhattan than they are in Melbourne. It's normal to wear heels and designer bags to go down to the shops. EVERYBODY wears sunglasses even when it's cloudy out. Women complain loudly abut their partners, their mother in laws and their bosses in the street without compunction. They gesture with their hands and they say, " FUCK, I KNOW RIGHT?". I loved this, i loved that this was normal and i wished it were the same here in Melbourne. I am heavily romanticizing New York, i know. Give me another few weeks there and the rose tinted glasses would've been smashed on the pavement. But this is the beauty of traveling. Everything is so exotic and romantic and unreal. I guess there'll always be a romantic side of me and being in one place for too long just doesn't quench my needs for that. I don't even know what i'm really saying anymore. All i know is that the world outside has so much more to challenge me with. To show off to me. I need to be there.