WHEEL OF FORTUNE

My Tarot Cards have been floating about in my mind lately. I'd forgotten about them for the entire year and they've been lying dormant in my bathroom cupboard, gathering dust and completely forgotten. But they've ebbed and flowed back into my awareness. Awareness as in, I know they are there and I want to start utilizing them again. In 2012, i went through a phase of loving them. I did readings for everyone and became the go-to person to get a reading. I felt grossly under qualified for this job but people didn't seem to mind. They were so hell bent on finding some truth in the cards that they didn't care who was drawing them. At the end of each year, i do a reading for the year ahead. For 2013, the cards were in favor of me and that was the year i lived alone in my own apartment. It was an amazing year. I was happy, THIN and thriving. I loved my apartment and living alone plus I was happy, financially speaking. Things took a turn for the worst when i did my end of year reading for 2014. I got so many reversed cards and the worst card of all in the deck, the tower. It didn't look good. It looked awful to be honest and 2014 did see me spiral out of control mentally and physically. I don't cover up the fact that this year was one of the worst of my life. I'm glad it's finally drawing to a close.

Two years in a row these cards have been chillingly accurate. It freaked me out but with that feeling of fear also came belief. I know all the explanations people offer when you tell them the cards are accurate but there's some weird thing inside me that really does believe in the cards. In some instances, they are so accurate and specific in their details that i've simply been shocked, lying supine with eyes wide open in bed at night. Last night, I was watching a documentary about Tarot cards on Youtube and i thought, I've got to get them going in my life again. Sure, it might all be a self-fulfilling prophecy and they're really a crock but any direction is better than no direction. It's true that the cards do set up certain expectations which you will probably convince yourself of happening but sometimes they are also wrong. They are not right 100% of the time, but it's not even about them being right or wrong.

The thing about Tarot is that they reveal things about the present and the past through instigating you to put your life in the perspective of the card drawn. With your melange of memories and ideas, comes this cross-hatching of 'thought' and 'intuition' which sets itself up like a blueprint in your mind for whats to come. For me, they aren't really a divination tool but more like a thought and action instigator tool. I use my past experiences, my knowledge of myself and other peoples feedback of what i'm like and apply that to the cards. Knowing myself, i can get a half grip on what i'm most likely to do and the situations that i'll attract. I am going to study up on these cards as a life guide but not as a life 'dictator'.