Would you ever go to a party alone?

In a week or two, i'm going to go to a literary journal opening by myself. I know what you're thinking, Why? Surely it can only go badly. I end up leaving with my tail between my legs at my failed attempts of networking, not being able to schmooze my way into some kind of writing gig, making no friends and looking like a complete desperado holding a glass of red wine in a plastic cup by myself.

I'm not going to lie, all of these things are probably going to happen. And worse off, i will have nobody to lean against for support. But i'm going to do it anyway. I don't have any writer friends and it's about high time that i met some people in the writing scene. Not to mention i'm pretty into the journal who are launching and i want to meet the people running it. The thought of this does scare me but a lot less so than say, about a couple of years ago. I've built confidence but that doesn't mean i still don't get shit scared of doing things alone. I do know something though, you have to get things rolling and you're the only one who can do it.

As you probably all know i'm the number one advocate of independence. Things can only ever go right AKA your way when you face the road by yourself. I've left tasks to other people, simple ones too and for some reason, no matter how clear you are with your instructions people just don't get it. I've stopped asking for other people to do my job when i'm the only one that can do it.
So, here I go to this thing by myself. I don't think i'll see anyone i know there because most of my friends and acquaintances thus far have been visual artists. If i can be honest, i don't think many people will think what i'm doing is brave. Most of the people there will think i'm a weirdo for being alone. I accept looking like a creep, whatever.

A Still from American Psycho

On another note, i am SO into 80s wall street themed movies. One of my favorites is American Psycho that i revisit every now and then. I really buy into this entire 80s excess stuff. Like cocaine in toilets, business lunches, women in diamond necklaces and business cards type thing. It's such a mans world. I like to spectate though. There is so much stuff that's going on at the beginning of December. Parties are happening, I'm going off to NZ to see my relatives. Also there's just general buzz in the air because the end of the year is coming and no one wants to kick this year into the curb more than me. I just overheard the first talks about New Years last night and that was such a reminder. It's nearly over!