Give up your ' Story '

This concept that my life coach taught me has really sunk deep into me and I want to share it with you guys. Basically, it's your ' story '. Everyone has a story. Everyone has been a victim, a target, a perpetrator, a predator... you name it. And the story is what backs up our wanting to feel sorry for ourselves and our needing to be appeased by life. I think I had a really big story that was holding me back. I had so much ' stuff ' in me that needed to be cleared. Who knew that the solution was to ultimately just forget the whole lot as opposed to sort through it bit by bit?

My story is whiney and whingey. I don't know if the whineyness is warranted or not ( despite people hating whineyness, i do truly believe some people deserve to be whiney about things. It's just not pleasant on the ears ). One thing is for sure though, i clung onto my past to validate my bad habits of today. I had gaps in my life which were deep and sunken and i needed them to be filled and fast. Now I know that in order to let go of all this crap that suffocates you, you have to let go of that 'story'. I feel like i'm ready to let go of that story but there are parts of that story that can't be let go. Mainly, the real stuff. I can let go of all the negative things but there are some things about my story that i think will be a part of me forever. And i'm sure that's OK. You can't erase your entire story but you can take from it things which have potential to let you sail further and higher.

The things i can't let go about my 'story' are hard to put into words. I'll summarize them in dot points

* Everytime i've been confronted with the truth about something
* Everytime i've been real to someone
* Everytime i've cried about something really hard
* Everytime i've experienced rejection
* Everytime i've had one of those deep moments on the train when you realise you're just a solo boat in a big ocean alone, looking for a place to dock

It's hard to see these things as neutral experiences and not negative ones. Although they might've hurt, it's the experiences that hurt that matters the most and who says you don't recover from those hurtful experiences? I feel good about letting my story go, but there are also so many parts of the story that are necessary to me being a writer. Those necessary parts are the list i just mentioned above. The ' real ' things. This isn't meant to sound egotistical, but people do come to me for advice a lot and i have received feedback about how my writing has a very humanly quality to it. Knowing this, i can't give up my attachment to these sorts of experiences i've had. They are the bedrock of the entirety of me. Having said that, I am going to give up the negative things. Like needing validation constantly, needing to achieve certain things in order to not feel like a failure, not counting my achievements as anything real, comparing myself to others. A bit of these things don't do much harm, but when it's in a heap then that's when things start to look awry. I need to keep the human side of things to my story but not the negative side. Anything in the realm of emotion and feelings is blurry and vague. If you ask me though, i feel like i can separate these two very distinctly.