How you live day to day means more than one important day in your life

Me in a Yukata.

I'm not good with keeping my mouth shut. Eversince i was a teenager, i've relished more in the act of confessing than in the act of keeping things quiet. If it isn't going to ruin things, why keep it a secret? It's so much more rewarding to share something than to keep it secret. I am seriously thinking about moving to Tokyo. One of my friends said to me that people who share their goals seldom reach them. I guess i'm going to prove that statistic wrong because this NEEDS to happen. There's something about it here that is drawing me in more and more. The way people are here, the way they live, their culture, their values - i'm hooked and i don't believe that it's all just holiday euphoria. If my life begins to fall into a humdrum pattern again, that's fine as long as it falls into that pattern in this city. I've learned one thing about myself in my travels and it's that i respect and value cities that have attitude. Cities that have guts, something really strong to say and things that they hold onto. For New York, that's their ballsy attitude and mission to rule the world. For Tokyo? It's the traditions that are weaved into their neon modernity, it's the fact that they are so brutal about manners, about etiquette about their way of doing things. I love their tenacity in how they preserve their beliefs and their values. Melbourne has this somewhat too, but it's just not for me anymore. It's too laid back, too relaxed about things. It doesn't have enough attitude or tenet. We are just too casual about everything. I need a city with urgency and with women who stroll down Ginza in their Kimonos. I need to be in Tokyo.

I could be very happy here i think. In fact, i believe that i could live here and not be struggling with making it as a writer, with being somebody important. I believe that i could live here, do my job ( probably teaching English, let's be real ) and simply be happy with my life as a simple Yalei. The reason why is because there is just something about this city that makes simply being here a joy. And when that novelty wears out, i'll be a part of a city that has the attitude i so badly crave to be a part of anyway. Everything about Tokyo is different to Melbourne. Right down to the last corner of it all and i need change - badly. I don't know how things will pan out for me of course, but i'll consider myself a success if i manage to get back here on a more long term basis. I had no idea that i would come to this decision on this holiday. What started as being merely a getaway from the barren reality of Melbourne has turned into an avenue towards a life changing perspective. I have to leave and I have to come here. I wish i could put eloquently into words exactly why i love it so much. One of the reasons is because it's an Asian country. For someone who is so Westernised and who grew up in the West, i feel such a strong connection to Japan because it's Asian. I guess being with Asians matter to me more than i originally thought. Another reason is because i feel like Tokyo has a surrealness about it which i'm addicted to. The lights, the salarymen, the noise, the sheer amount of people. It's pulsating all the time.

Melbourne the city itself is OK but i guess i just can't separate my life from the city. I need a new start and a completely new place to begin myself again. I've always been so drawn to Japan and being here has validated all my beliefs about it. Of course i know that there is a down side to it all. I don't understand why things have to be so repressed all the time and why people can't just be more open about their feelings. But there's a downside to every city and every culture. You just have to remember that there's a good side too. I can see myself assimilating here very, very well. I can see myself buying meals from the Konbini, going to an Izakaya after work, hanging out with friends at Karaoke and if i have the funds, going shopping in Harajuku and Koenji. I can see myself blending in, understanding the language, connecting with the locals and just having a really good life here. The feeling is so strong and i stand by it so hard that nothing can stop me from coming back here for a longer time. It feels good to know what i want a second time around.