Leisure Life

I have to come to terms with the fact that I don't think I can ever have a normal job. 

I've tried having a normal job and it made me depressed. The kind of depression where the concept of possibility became foreign to me. The kind of existence where working, eating and sleeping become all that there is to your life. Some people manage to balance work and life well, but I'm not someone who's good with balance. Never have and never will. I make one choice and vehemently, I remain faithful to it till the end. I renounced writing two years ago but I've come back like an embarrassed lover, admitting that I'm theirs for life.

I love the world of 'leisure'. Put the word 'leisure' in front of anything and it takes on a thousand fold of glamour. Leisure painting, Leisure sports, Leisure Ikebana. So is it possible to live an entire life of leisure? Sadly, I'm not sure it is. But let me have a go and I'll report back my findings. I used to believe that a life lived with dignity and respect was one of conformity. To an extent, this is still true. Work at a job that you hopefully don't hate, pay your rent and have some left over for the fun stuff. I lived that kind of life and realised that it wasn't enough for me. I wanted more than that. I wanted glitter and butter and excitement and novelty. But is this just youthful naivety gone too far? I turned 27 this year and felt the chill of 30 around the corner. This is a turning point age and to be honest, I'd give anything to delay it.

So what is my ideal kind of life?
One of complete freedom, ease and mobility. But these things are expensive. Something that only the 1% can have. Despite all of this, I know that this is the only way I can live a happy life. I can either strive to attain this nomadic lifestyle, or give in to the man and queue in line with everyone else. I wouldn't call myself somebody who was privileged. But nor am I under-privileged. I'm simply a product of the generation and class of which I belong to. But I want the privilege to live a life of leisure. Chasing the tail of novelty and glamour all over the world. No titles, no responsibilities, no nothing.