Are you ready to be an Adult?

I've realized maybe that i'm not ready yet. Or maybe, i am ready but i just need a long break. My last entry made it sound like that i got fired from my jobs. But it's just the opposite. I've made the decision to quit all my jobs and move back home once my lease has run out in January 2014. This is a pretty big decision but i feel really eager to begin it. I need a long, long holiday from my life so far and also to re-boot my mind after coming off Prozac. I need to learn how to live as if i were on it, without it.

That's going to take ultimately, a lifetime to learn. But for now, we'll take baby steps. I can't wait to go home again and i never thought i'd say this. I was always the one who was so desperate to leave home and to plunge myself head first into freedom. Now? I'm a stay at home type of girl. I like to read in the garden on the deck chair and in the evenings, i go to bed early. During the days, all i really want now is to write, read and contemplate my life. That sounds so hippy but it's true. I feel like i really need a life holiday from my life. I think about my room a lot when i realize that i'm heading home next year. I have a whole new approach now. It's going to be just the bare essentials. I feel like the more mature you get, the less stuff you have. Or, you know what to throw out more easily rather than spending an hour deliberating. You get more sure of who you are as you grow up.

I've made the decision to stop working at " young people " jobs. After i quit both of my jobs now, i'm heading into career job territory. I want more money, to be valued by the company that i work with and to establish enduring and genuine relationships with the people that i work with. What's really crap about jobs for young people, is that there really isn't a lot of choice. You either do retail or hospitality. Both are rubbish. Career jobs are where it's at but people aren't really that open with people my age. I have a double task of proving to my potential future employers that i am a hundred per-cent serious about my career job. I'm sick of working for people who don't care about me or really know me. Whats more, i don't like working for places that don't involve me thinking up of ideas and concepts. I need a job that requires a component of ideas creation. Sitting behind a desk for a shop isn't that at all. It's taken me two jobs to realize that retail isn't for me. But i need to stick it out until my lease runs out.

On a completely lighter note, i've decided to spend the money i get back from my bond on a Chanel bag. I've wanted one since i was a teenager and i feel like at this age i'm at, and through the entire life experiences i've accumulated, now is the right time to buy one. I deserve it! I won't be able to buy one brand new so i think i'll get one online. I'm aiming for Beige. I'm so excited to get my life gift as a life reward for living my life so far. Haha.