SOLO/YOLO

I'm in a good mood today. That hasn't come around in a while. Usually i'm just ' OK '. But today, i feel good. I feel more positive today than usual and less like i'm struggling with the present which come to think of it, is something that i actually struggle with more now. Things are so different than how they used to be middle of this year. I literally can never tell where my life goes. I know life is unpredictable for everyone, but i feel like throughout my life things have been such high drama. Maybe it's just the way that i interpret it, but i literally don't get surprised these days if one day i'm just living my life and the next day something drastic and extreme happens. I'm kind of tired of it to be honest, i want my life to be stable, predictable and consistent.

It's hard to keep a blog alive when nothing is happening too much in your life. I'm not afraid to admit that. There's nothing really happening. Basically, it's just me with both my fingers crossed that next year is gonna be better. With more events, opportunities and offers in all areas of my life. At the same time, i want my life to be completely drama free though. I want excitement but not drama. This truly is slump period as i talked about before in my other blog post. Towards the end of the year, everyone just kind of slacks off a bit because well... you may as well because Christmas is around the corner. Besides the shops being in overdrive, the workforce sort of dries up and you have to wait around Feb next year when things start to kick off again. I guess this is a good time for me to just actually stop stressing out about my life and start to just wait for time to unravel what it has in store for me. 

I think that i put A LOT of pressure on myself to have things peachy. I want my life to be awesome, but that's really hard to get right. I had it right this year where everything was in perfect balance but in the back of my mind, i knew that wasn't going to last forever. I think next year is going to see me attempting to find that balance again. At my age ( 23 ), i feel like everyone else my age is living the life they are supposed to lead whereas i'm trying to achieve this balance that is reserved for either super high achievers or 35 year old people. The thing is, i am so determined for it that i just won't listen to anyone telling me to give up or that i'm not one of them. Because i'm going to say it, i just think that i am.
My whole life is lived alone so everything has to be more on top of things than people who have a large support base. When you live solo, you have to have things sorted out better than people who have more people in their lives. That's just a requirement in my eyes.