Yalei Wang

Hey, New York 

I'm dying to be with you. Melbourne is a dead-shit town where nothing ever happens. People think you're egotistical when you tell them you're a writer who's gonna make it one day. No actually, they just think you're disillusioned. I feel like people over there mightn't think that. Like they would a bit, but because you guys are the city that never sleeps, the center of the world as i love to think of it - i feel like you'd respond with, " Call this number" instead.

I don't even know who you are but i miss you. I feel like at the moment, there are conversations where i could be adding anecdotes to, opportunities which i'd be excelling at, and places where bosses would love me. THERE. IN. NEW. YORK. Why the fuck don't i just go there, you ask? I need a reason to be there first. To feel safe there first. I get why people go there with nothing and build themselves up. For some reason, it doesn't sit right with me. And get this, this sounds crazy as fuck but i feel like you're going to call me up to ask me to come to you in the next five years. It's just those crazy as hell feelings you get that you can't argue with.
I've always maintained a disinterest in you. But I've changed completely and America is where it's at. I even got a Twitter so i could connect with people in the U.S. America is where you can get ahead and you are encouraged to. It's where the pace is fast and emails get replied to in 20 minutes as opposed to 20 days. It's where young successful people are born and bred. It's where wall street CEOs toast to their third $100,000,000 and their glittering wives with diamonds around their neck laugh with candour. New york is where i'd walk down the streets, climb out of taxis in my most fab outfit and feel like i'm someone important. Someone who wants me so bad. Someone who everyone wants to talk to and to know. New york is competitive. But that's not what i'm afraid of. What one should be more afraid of, is the absence of competition. We need speed and movement. We need speed and movement constantly.

I feel like the first time i'll ever see you, i'm going to have that 'experience' where you feel like you're at home. Just like when i landed in Paris and i was like " Fuck, i'm home". But it's so mysterious. When am i going to see you? When will i ever meet you? Because i'm festering here in Melbourne where noone wants to give you a chance unless you're already friends with them. I miss you New York, and i don't even know who you are.