Yalei Wang: Things are not ' stuck ' nor are they ' forever '

I have this problem where i always think that things are ' stuck '. I forget that life is transitory and we are always in a state of 'change'. One of my old friends said that this was one of my drawbacks and when she said it, I was like OMG you're right. I always think, " This is the way it's gonna be forever". Well, it never is. Sometimes i even look around at my life and realise in a shock that things are so different and i never even stopped to notice that things have changed. It's both a comforting thought as well as a discomforting one. When things are good, you really don't want them to change. But when things aren't so good, you're just waiting for things to turn around the corner. Right now, i feel like everyday is so different that i don't know what to expect for the future. I mean, i feel so different everyday. Some days i feel energetic and positive and then the next day, i'd feel sluggish and indifferent. I've always craved consistency but who knows if i'll ever get it? If i don't, i won't be surprised. I feel like if we got everything we wanted in life, we'd be very bored.

If you have to write it 100 times then do it. I've done many of these routine lay out ' plans '. Fact of the matter is, i get very easily side tracked. What's yours like?

I've been thinking about what new project i'm going to take on in the coming months. If you know me in real life my last major project was my zine magazine " Criterion " which i had to stop because it got so expensive to run. I miss that journey and all that it held for me. I miss writing the editors letters, commissioning writers, updating the blog and just generally dreaming about the possibilities for it. I had a good haul, but it by no means achieved what I ultimately wanted it to. I said it was my life project but reality got the better of me. I have to find something more sustainable. I have to find something that I feel as passionate about as Criterion but won't cost me an arm and a leg. To be honest, i am having a super hard time coming up with viable ideas. I'd love to open a publishing house but that would require even more money than a publication. Not to mention even more time. Also it's a bit idealistic seeing as books are fast becoming superfluous items. Kindles are taking over as well as ' fast ' information. But being a head bitch at a publishing house and deciding which authors i want to make 'it', that dream is so delish. What project should i do? Any ideas? throw'em my way! Here are some snaps from last week!