In Defense of Idleness

Idleness these days, is a dirty word. No one wants to be idle or at least be perceived as being idle. If you have no great project, no grand scheme or no five year plan, well then you MUST be a loser on your ass, eating Doritos and watching day time TV everyday, right?

WRONG

I used to be really judgmental about idleness until i started experiencing it myself. To be fair, i honestly believe that a lot of people perceive me as being idle. All i ever do is go shopping, instagram the new things i buy and perhaps drink a little too often than i should ( this has recently stopped though ). I do all of those things and i don't deny it, but it doesn't constitute the bulk of my life. More importantly, so what if it did? I've reached a new tier where i am starting to judge people less and less. Mainly because of two things. One, there are some things in life people can't fucking help and two, you don't want to be judged so don't judge others. This tenet can be applied to any other way of thinking, but for the purposes of this blog entry, it's about being idle.

I'm someone who wants shit to happen in my life. I'm totally all for growing, new opportunities, work and dedication. But this year particularly, all my attempts to 'do' stuff have failed and i have never felt more downtrodden, defeated, angry and bitter. This is why people shove you out of the way in line, why people are mean to you, why people treat you like shit. It's because life has given them no other choice but to see life as hard, sad and crap. I've been more idle than ever this year because you reach a point where you are so depleted of hope and energy that the idea of trying is just impossible. I admit that i felt bad when i look around me and see how far people have gone in their lives, but the thing is i shouldn't feel bad because i've put in a lot of work to make shit happen. But life is a bitch and it didn't want to go my way. I've stopped being so hard on myself and maybe it's time to stop being so hard on yourself too. In fact, ever since i let that stuff go i've been feeling really good.

Being proactive in your life does feel great. But let's be real and admit that part of the entire thing is also about keeping up appearances to the world. As i stated at the beginning of this entry, Idleness is a dirty word. I guess the point of all of this is to really 'own' your life. If you decide to do nothing, OWN that. If you decide to be idle, OWN it. And i'm owning my idle moments because if i feel good then life is exactly how it should be.