Why do people start smoking?

I've always wondered what the exact reasons are for why people start smoking. Whenever i have asked people, they usually shrug and give a non committal answer like, " I dunno " or " It just sort of happened ". I don't feel like they are good enough answers to be honest. In fact, i think the real reasons why people start smoking are a lot more straight forward. In my eyes, people start smoking for only two reasons. To look cool or to fit in. I started smoking when i was really young. 14 years old. I did it because i wanted to seem 'badass' and to look older than i did. To this day, i have an obsession with looking older than i am. One of my fantasies is to have grey/silver hair. The problem is, i have a natural inclination towards childlike things and a childlike aesthetic. In the early days, i'd always share a cigarette with a friend because i couldn't smoke an entire one alone. Little by little i needed an entire one to get my ' fix ' and before i knew it i was smoking by myself and not simply in social settings.

Smokers are a particular kind of people. They are usually brooders, more emotional than most, cynical and sarcastic. I don't know any positive people who smoke. The only people who i know who smoke can fit into one or more of those descriptions above. I guess what's better than killing oneself slowly and to be able to do that with enjoyment? Some of my best thinking has happened over a cigarette. In a bath, ( in bed, when i lived alone ) or at 2am in the morning when insomnia was in full blast. Similarly i cannot drink without a cigarette between my fingers as i laugh wildly or recall some witty anecdote. I've always viewed people who smoke as more complex people. You'd have to be in order to justify or be OK with harming various organs of your body every time you lit up. A simple person would think " That is bad ". A complex person would think, " I don't give a shit anyway ".

I don't smoke as much as i used to. Mainly because living with your parents basically makes that impossible to do. But i know that i'll always be a smoker. It's an expensive, indulgent habit that renders absolutely no use or benefit to us and yet we love to do it. I guess that's the folly of all things indulgent. They are never good for us, can possibly harm us but they feel right and often that's the only reason we need to fall from grace.