Getting What You Want / Work Ethic

I had a really bad day yesterday so when i went to bed last night, i was like " Thank god THAT was over ". For one, i didn't end up going to work which I wished that i could've done. But 7 hours of sitting on the telephone makes me cringe, not to mention i didn't put myself down for that shift too. I was glad that I had gotten shifts at all seeing as the work climate is pretty dry. People are all desperate for work and there's not enough jobs to go around. If it's any consolation to my team leaders, my dad gave me a grilling about work ethics and how I had to have more of it. Even if the job was difficult and i had to start early when I'm not used to heading into the city at work at 8AM.
I mean, I felt like such a slacker yesterday. I kept on saying that I didn't regret staying at home but really, I totally did. That's what happens when you stay home from work. Sure you avoid all the annoying shit and you get to sleep in, but is that really worth it? If staying at home and getting a lecture from my dad about slacking off work is what it costs, then let me go to work.

I want to be less like this and move towards a more 'modest' way of thinking and living. My shopping urges are slowly dying. I welcome this because it means for once i won't have to be worrying about if there'll be enough money on my Myki. And whats more, i get to actually utitlize all the clothes and shoes that i already have. It also means I won't get that guilty feeling after I buy something. It makes me feel like a crook or something and that shouldn't be happening when we shop. We're meant to feel good. Yesterday got me thinking about how overindulgent I am with my life and how in the long run, that's actually so bad for me. It doesn't help that a lot of the things i've achieved or gotten in life hasn't been through hard work at all but simply chance, luck and good timing. I haven't had to work for a lot of the things I've wanted ( or if i did, it didn't feel like work ). That's not meant to sound braggy or conceited, it's the truth about my life. That's why I find it so hard to buckle down sometimes, it's because I know I'll get it eventually. I have to be honest, i don't even know how to work hard. I just know how to zoom in on a task and get passionate. I don't see that as being a hard worker. That's just doing something that feels natural and good for you. As for the getting things without trying, if we're talking about this year then that hasn't really been the case. This year has been the one year where things haven't gone my way. It's shit. But humbling. It's been an experience, to say the least.