Coming to terms with leaving

This photo was taken yesterday at Rooftop bar by my bae Bianca

Ok, so the departure date is super soon now.

It's weird. I feel weird. I know that it's only going to get weirder because this week is my last week at work FOREVER. I keep saying to mum that i'm never coming home and she keeps bringing me back to reality saying, " That's what you're hoping for" which i know is right but i don't want to hear that right now. I want to feel as if this is a new start where i'm gonna go and get reborn and then have such a great life that i'll never come back. I want the authorities to be like, yeah this girl is legit and she wants to integrate into our culture so we're gonna take her in. Like i want it so bad. I know that there's a chance my dream life could be very flawed and not like the rose colored vision that i've got in my head. But that's fine because nothing could ever be worse than staying here.

I'm so sorry i'm always so negative about Melbourne but i guess this is just my experience and it hasn't been a very positive one. To those who've had a positive experience, you're really lucky. Finishing up my job this week is going to be amazing. It's a job that's kept me afloat for years but it's been doing my head in seriously badly for the last two. I mean, a call center job. That's what you get for graduating with an arts degree. The job itself is shit but the people that work there... honestly i can't even begin to tell you how amazing all of them are. Like, for real man. I know i'll never meet a group of people like the people at my work place ever again. That's just a fact. I'm gonna miss them so much.

I know i've still got a week left before i leave and i'm already making this entry sound like i'm leaving tomorrow, but i feel like mentally i have already left this place. I know on the plane, in my tiny seat, i'm gonna be shedding some tears. I'm really anxious about that because hiding tears is fucking difficult and people can tell straight away that you've been crying. Urgh, the thought makes me nervous itself. Today i'm sending my stuff to Japan via the post office. It's so expensive but i'm going to feel like it's all SO real after it's all sent and gone.