Yalei Wang

I've always felt as if there were constant pressure on everybody to be happy all the time, especially in the world of work. I have always wanted to work somewhere where i didn't have to be upbeat and bubbly but have found myself amongst all the wrong jobs which required me to be exactly this.That's because the only kind of jobs which I can get with my degree are the crap jobs where i have to deal with ' customers '. My ideal job would be one where i could be myself. Happy when i am happy and sad when i am sad. Not as if i were raging on Prozac the entire time because there's a gun my boss is holding to my back. I still wish i had a job which required me to use my brains and not my energy to make people like me.

Having someone show you fake enthusiasm is just as bad as having someone show none at all and i'm a pro at detecting when someone isn't being real to me. I can sense it straight away and it makes my skin crawl. To put it bluntly, i feel like there is no place in the world for people like me who aren't chipper, bubbly and so excited about living 24/7. Nobody wants to spend time with us because we're such a downer.
I get it. I've been that person who's been positive to have someone negative trample all over it and it's a shit feeling. It's just that, most of the time i'm that negative person. The only difference between me and the other negative people in the world is that I don't go out of my way to intentionally make you feel like shit. You feel like shit because I'm realistic, not because i'm sadistic.

There's definitely a constant pressure to be happy, excited and high on life all the time here in Tokyo. And as much as I love it here i am not going to lie. Life is harder here than Melbourne 100%. You are judged more, you are expected to put in extra effort for no reward, you are expected to be clean, respectful and completely on guard all the time ( doubly so! ). You are expected to not let your 'feelings' ever get in the way and you are expected to do all of this with a smile on your face. On the good days, all of this is manageable. But when things feel grey, the hope of bundling all these tasks together is just impossible. The world runs on fakeness, not realness. Everything depends on a facade of OK-ness. Your transaction has been approved, Your application has been received, You have been selected to..., Yes, I'd love to have a coffee... Even if nobody is buying it, everyone has a duty to make sure that everything is fine when behind the scenes, it's anything but.