I miss the early morning / flows / Aunty's Tulip Farm

For some reason, I've been waking up later and later. I had such a good grasp on the early morning rising for a couple of weeks and i thought that I had it down pat. But mysteriously, these couple of days saw me waking up later and going to bed later for no apparent reason at all. There's this stirring inside of my chest which prevents me from being able to sleep. So i turn my lamp back on and sit there, idling and hoping somehow i'll be able to sleep soon.
Maybe I'm not the morning person that i was so proud to be. Maybe my body clock was just letting me have a small moment of enjoyment before it decides to break the bad news to me. " Sorry Yalei, you're actually still a night owl". I don't like being a night owl. Night owls are weird people. People who think weird things, are lonely, are bothered and have gripes with the world. We all have some gripes, but the night owls are the ones who sit with those demons late into the night, not being able to avert their heart or attention from what makes life hard.
Life isn't easy right now but it definitely isn't hard either. My heart still pines for distant countries but before that's possible, i gotta save and I've been good at not spending my money lately. Everything that I have been spending on, has been necessary stuff I need. Like Myki fare and groceries. I gotta say, it feels good to use what you already have and to not accrue more.

In the middle of December, i'm going away again. It's only to New Zealand to visit my relatives but it's still overseas ( technically, yes but not really to me ). I really want to stay at my Aunt's tulip farm but that depends on logistics. According to my uncle, it's massive and there are so many flowers growing there. I just want to see nature properly. In other news, I've been talking to the woman who i'm ghostwriting for and things are kind of moving slowly in that department. She's just had an operation so I have to wait for her to fully convalesce before we can meet. Other than that, it feels good to see all my pals at work again. I always get so many laughs out with those people.
I've been taking life's pace as it comes and not trying to rush it. I was a 'rusher' at the beginning of the year. I was constantly snapping my fingers saying out loud, " Come on, come on!". But it was pointless and I don't want to go through any of the hardships i went through this year again. You get to this point in life where you kind of give up. It sounds totally sad but it's sort of relieving. It's not like you've given up on life, but you've sort of just stopped the pushing and the fighting and you simply relax and give into the pace life has for you.
It's hard to accept the pace because you want it to go faster. But i've learnt that for me, the more i push the more worn out i get and then i just break. So let's just let things flow the way they want it to.

Also, here are my favorites of the month :

From top left hand corner going right : Listening to Yoko Ono's Rising, Reading 'The Victim' by Saul Bellow, Dreaming about escaping to Tokyo for a month, Using my EOS lip balm nonstop, Eating Nutella by the spoonful, Watching American Horror Story : Freak show, Stomping around in my Chanel Flats and occasionally wearing my new MAC lipstick in ' Chili '