What does " Being Close " with someone mean ?

I think loving someone and feeling close to them are different things. Feeling close to someone implies that you can confide in them, are comfortable around them. It means that you don't have to front around them and that you can be real and say whatever you like to them. As i mature, i feel like my thirst for closeness with others is gradually fading away. Something happens when you grow up. You need other people a lot less than when you were young and insecure. You develop tenets that you have allegiances with and they become the pillars of your dependence. What does being close to someone mean to me now? I was thinking about this on the train and I felt a tinge of nostalgia. There used to be a part of me that sought after intimacy everywhere. I wanted to feel comfortable with everyone. I wanted everyone to like me and to want to spend time with me. Deem me as someone worthy of time and effort. And when i found that, i clung onto it. Without words or explicit gestures would i ever use to convey how i felt, but somehow i had an inkling that i came off too strong and people dissolved into obscurity.

I was desperate for everything to be peachy all the time. I used to make sure that fights never lasted longer than two days, that foreboding waves of potential conflict were assuaged ASAP. I was the one who wanted the fires put out as soon as an ember threatened. There was a void i needed filling up. I thought it could be with intimacy. Closeness is a mutual thing that happens without disclosing the obvious. If it is obvious, we don't need to state to one another that we are close. We are close - there's no need to state it. When i move forward, you move forward with me. You are bound to the swing of my arm and the beat of my step. When you are close with someone, your neon buzz is dulled to a slow hum. You are no longer on edge because you are somehow home.

Closeness is a way of life with that person, or place, or thing. I'm losing my need for closeness but i will never forget what it feels like to be close to a person. It is a feeling of home, of familiarity of safeness. Life is never safe nor secure but in closeness with another, it can be that if only for an hour or two. In the presence of someone we are close to, we are left with three sentences about life rather than a story book of it. We are left with the main questions we have that we want answered and that person is our companion in having our trials finally put to an end.
When I'm not with people who i am close with, my mind is afloat with questions, demands, wonderings and flightiness. But in the presence of people i am close with, it is the only the basic things that matter. Only the most crucial parts of myself and my life remain in my mind, everything else flees.