Honor in what you do

I'm someone who would probably take a lower pay cheque for a job that's held in high esteem by the world. These days, you are not exactly what you earn. You may earn a lot but you mightn't have the respect of the public. You mayn't earn that much, but everywhere you go people treat you with the utmost respect and courtesy because your job has honor. Being a writer in the world doesn't get you money. But it gets you conversation entrances at parties, people think you're automatically super interesting and most people you meet also assume you are by nature, intelligent. It is one of those 'jobs' if you can even call it that, that pays off through other peoples respect, curiosity and interest in you. Although i mightn't be able to afford anything with that, i sure as hell can't buy those things. I feel like there's so much wealth in having happiness and pride in doing what you do and loving it even if it doesn't pay that much. It's because you have to live with yourself everyday. You have to live with your own opinion of yourself and your life. Because what we do constitutes so much of our time here on earth, our jobs do make up for a lot of our own 'self talk' about who we are and how much we value ourselves.

Now i know there are people who don't define themselves through their jobs or what they do and that's fine. But I do. I define myself through my job and what i put out into the world. I know that once i get a full time job, it will be my life. Because funnily enough, i do want to be people on the train who look tired and exhausted from work. I want that because that tiredness warrants two martinis and a new dress. I feel like i want to earn  my indulgences now rather than just to meaninglessly plunder into them with no green card. I want to work for my enjoyment. Not just get them without merit. I want to do something that has honor and that makes me feel good and worthy to be on earth. And you know what? I want to do it so hard that i fall and break from exhaustion. There is honor in loving what you do, even if your job has no respect from the outside world. If you love what you do and do it everyday with enjoyment, you are already in the 1% of the world. Me? I know that there'll most likely never be money in what i do, but in simply being able to write and having people read what i write and tell me their feelings is a sort of wealth in itself. And if i can eventually get a job doing any sort of writing be it copy or content, then to me i'll feel honored.