Leaving my job

Second last night at work. Look at how ecstatic I am ( I actually was inside )

I left work 1 hour early yesterday. It was my last shift, i was doing badly so i may as well have left. I wanted to end things right because i'm a big believer in doing things ' right '. This means finishing things up the proper way. I guess that's a very Virgo thing to do and that's who i am. I felt really weird about leaving early even though i wanted to. Like it wasn't the right thing to do but despite that, my feelings got the better of me and i decided to fill out my time sheet and leave one hour ahead of schedule. I've been wanting to leave my job for ages now. Two years to be precise. But on contrary to many new-agey articles on the internet and gen-y attitudes about living ' your best life', you seriously cannot just leave your job whenever you want to. You need money to live and if i had quit my job earlier, i would've been broke and stranded. I never got people who just quit their jobs. In order to do that you have to either have another job lined up or have enough savings to get you through a couple of months of job hunting. The fact that i didn't want to be there at all but had no other choice made going to work soul destroying. It's this absolutely fucked up feeling that drains you in all ways. I don't even wish it on my worst ever enemy. On the way out the doors, i couldn't help but smiling so hard like an idiot. There was nobody around so it was OK. If someone had seen me, they would've been really confused.

I walked down that street and didn't look back once. I was finally free and it felt amazing. No words could describe how i felt. No matter how many difficulties i go through in the future, nothing can compare to the life i had at my old job. It was just the worst. The job itself is what made it so awful. The workplace and the people there is what made it bearable. But if there's one thing i know now, is that you have to do whatever you have to do to survive even if it kills you day to day. Looking back, the job was actually what helped me through so much. It helped me when i was living in my own apartment, when i quit my crap sales assistant job, when things just weren't available...that job was. So for that, i'm forever grateful. But it's not enough and i feel like a lot of people i work with feel the same way. We're all just waiting for something better to come along. In an ideal world, we'd have pride in what we do. We'd go to jobs that we actually enjoy doing and that contributes to ourselves. But that's fantasy land and about 85% of people ( or even 90% ) do things for a living that they just don't care about and have to do out of the need to survive. That makes me sad but that really is life.

It feels like a big deal because i have literally been waiting so long to leave that job. Before i left, I'd fantasize about the time that i could finally leave. I'd look into the future and wonder, " When will my time come? ".  Well it came. I won't pretend like i didn't have to give up a lot to be able to leave but that doesn't faze me one bit. It's worth it. When you're in a desperate situation, you have to do something drastic. For me, it was leaving it all behind and starting afresh in a new country and that's one of the biggest decisions i've made and i know it's going to be 100% worth it as well. I seriously wish every single person the best back at my old workplace. They all deserve it!